Distractions all round

I’ll (or should I say, WE’LL) be walking down the aisle in EIGHT weeks….

And ashamedly, there’s still lots to do.

Flowergirl dresses? (Sorry, Lily)

Ring bearer and flowery suits?

Bridesmaids’ dresses?

MY VERY OWN GOWNS??

Okay, I need to take a chill pill. I haven’t seen my own custom-made gowns, what more my bridesmaids’ dresses + all the above… BUT!

What’s more important, is that this is going to be a hugely rant-y post.

If you still wish to read on, grab a huge mug of tea… with some popcorn / snacks for this is going to be one long post.

(or so I think)

So… My wedding plans. There have been more hiccups and ‘tragedies’ than anything else at time of writing.

Let’s begin with my wedding photographer, whom I booked on Jan 6, 2014. YES, more than a year ago.

Paul* and I happily locked down on my supposed dream photographer, whom I met virtually via my cousin’s wedding photos.

I thought the photos were lovely. I thought the photographers were too, seeing how they love what they do and all. However, it all came crashing down one day.

I got an e-mail, saying that they will not be able to cover my Chinese wedding ceremony in the morning as they “will only be arriving at 9am, and we hope your tea ceremony will not start until later”.

+______+

*insert expletives. A WHOLE LOTTA THEM*

I have two homes to head to on that particular day, and the ceremony is due to begin at 6am.

Instead, they offered to send their associate photographers, whom they assured me are “as good as us”.

When I raged about it, I received replies like

“but hey, at least you’ve got them for your reception at Fraser’s AND your pre-wedding shots”

“their associate photographers are equally good”

____________________________

I’m sorry folks, this is going to sound extremely bitchy but I did not pay a five-figure sum for associate photographers to cover my wedding ceremony.

Here’s the thing. Paul* and I have set foot just a little over two years into the workforce, and having to cough up such a sum, on top of all other wedding expenses is no easy feat for us.

We wanted our special day to be captured beautifully, hence the splurge.

But having them let us down, and having some add salt to our injury by telling me that

I shouldn’t be upset about this and AT LEAST I HAVE GOT THEM TO COVER MY OTHER RECEPTION is deemed unacceptable.

COMPLETELY, ABSOLUTELY, UNACCEPTABLE.

Then there’s the story of our wedding invitations… This one… There must have been some kind of misunderstanding somewhere, I am sure of it.

But looking back, I shouldn’t have agreed to such a high *proposed design cost* as we’ve had freelancer designers work for us before and they charge around half the amount we were ‘quoted’.

Adding more salt to our already marinated wounds…. Our designer isn’t very open to discussion.

You bet I won’t be recommending this particular one to any of you. Ever.

There is more ridiculosity to this drama, but I’ll end it here.

________________________________

I’m sure with weddings, many will receive financial help from their families.

What really irks me is when we meet up with potential vendors, and have them say things like

“Your budget is so low? Ask your parents to sponsor lah!”

will likely result in me walking away from said vendor(s).

It’s not a question about affordability on our parents’ end.

It’s just that not many know that my parents-in-law have kindly almost-demolished a humble double storey terrace house and turned it into a beautiful many-bedroom home for us both. Of course, we didn’t have much of a say / our opinions were brushed aside. I’ve shed many a tear over how they’ve done certain things to their liking, but not to mine and in spite of me sounding incredibly ungrateful, I really am grateful for all that they’ve done for us.

Now I just need to hack a few walls and all will be perfect. =D Just kidding!

My parents-in-law have presented us with a beautiful home to live in, and even did their best to furnish the place with brand new fittings.

My parents, on the other hand, will be funding our beautiful (am sure it will be) ceremony up in the highlands and my mum has bought me many a Noritake set… she even bought us a smashing set of knives (I PAID HER RM1 ok you superstitious people) and beautiful cutlery to boot. On top of everything else, Daddy is working on some beautiful cabinets for us (he’s our go-to DIY SuperDad and Mum is still rushing around, buying us stuff we never thought we would need…. Like

– Memory foam bath mats (because she can)

– Floor rugs (both from my favourite English brands)

– Umbrella holder (never thought this would come in handy)

– IKEA drawers / storage solutions for our dishcloths / tea towels etc

– A pair of Choos. Completely irrelevant, but I’ve got the license to CHOO-se whatever I want written here anyway. =p

but most of all, her unrelenting support. You won’t believe how many times one is capable of breaking down in a day. How many times have I thrown a hissy fit and she would be the only one who’s able to soothe me and mother me lol. Thank you, Mummy. <3

The above is only a fraction of what my parents, and Paul’s have done for us. There’s so much more, but right now, I’m just staring at those beautiful floor rugs (Am turning into an Auntie, omg) and thinking of my lovely parents.

I have four parents now wtf. That thought just came to me.

This then begs the question:

How can we even ask our parents to cough up more money for the wedding, when they have already done so much for us?!?

It’s only fair we, Paul* and I cough up the dough for all the extra ‘trimmings’, right?

__________________________________

An even bigger distraction now that the wedding WILL be happening (boy, you don’t wanna know how many times I’ve screeched “I DON’T WANT THIS ANYMORE” to Paul*) is that of….

My grandmothers.

Well… Actually, my paternal grandmother / Mama.

I may / may not have mentioned this long ago, but Mama suffers from Alzheimer’s. She has good and bad days, more bad than good. She will not be attending our wedding, but I still harbour hopes of her attending, which is pretty darn dumb, but I can’t help it.

I’m sentimental and extremely emotional when it comes to my grandmas, as you would have, or can see in my previous posts, in which I speak of my beloved late maternal grandma. Fact that I only have one living elderly relative left has made me even more emotional in recent times.

Thank God Paul* still has his grandmothers with him. I wish I could spend more time hanging out with them, but we speak the same, yet different dialect and I find it a struggle to understand what they are saying, especially his paternal grandma. Thankfully, Paul’s maternal grandma speaks Mandarin, and I’m still able to converse with her without me suffering the “Blank face syndrome”. Haha!

If any of you have tips and tricks on how to get over the death of a loved one, please share them for I’m on the brink of a mental breakdown.

For just months ago, I was scheming (not even planning) an evil plan to get Popo down to the Klang Valley, and even up to the highlands for our wedding, but all has come crashing down.

And I am still not over it. But I know no amount of crying will ever bring her back.

For now, I pray we will no longer be facing Road Blocks, until the Big Day.

Special thanks and a huge shoutout to dear reader Jennifer, who inspired me to write this. Thank you. =) xxx

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4 Comments

  1. Jennifer January 24, 2015 / 12:54

    Hello and good to see you back on the groove 🙂 Slowly but surely. I see a lil Bridezilla rant there…but hey guess what? You’re the bride and you’re the only entitled diva!!! So be as divaresque as you may like 😉 The rest who wants to be a diva have got to find their own events that will entitle them to be a diva, but not at yours. And I am sorry to hear of the photography crisis. Sorry to say but I think they’re really not professional, associate or not. Hmmph! *Stomps foot!* For crying out loud, it’s your wedding and you would be too stressed trying to keep your composure and look beautiful from whichever angle and direction and would most definitely want to capture those money-cannot-buy moments too! I hope you get to resolve that soon.

    As for mourning and moving on with life tips and tricks…hmm, I am not sure really. To be honest, I didn’t think there was any remedy at all though time is often a cruel and yet kind mistress. It will take time to let the dust settle, embed and relive the memories while slowly fading the pain away. I used to tear up a lot even at the glimpse of someone else’s popo or any grandmotherly figure that I see in public. Some days I wake up in fear of forgetting my grandma and the memories…We each have our own coping mechanism. Perhaps the wedding preparation and sizable amount of stress might numb you for a while now.

    Easier said than done, but I would still say it – hang in there beautiful bride 🙂 No matter what happens, enjoy your big day even if there are some hiccups coz these are the things that make us human and alive! Not to scare you, I have heard of horror stories like the Darth Vader theme song was mistakenly played as the march in song *GASP* But the guests were cool with it and no one kicked up a fuss. Keeping you in my prayers, may all go well and smooth 🙂 Hugs!

    • Sukie January 4, 2016 / 21:41

      Hello Jennifer,

      My reply is well, almost one year late! Thank you so very much for your kind words, the wedding did go on as planned, but not without its hitches, of course. Simply made for a memorable event! =D

      Have a wonderful year ahead and I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you!

  2. Di January 25, 2015 / 20:52

    Jiayou… Stay strong and happy. Focus on the inportant bits.. All the best..

    • Sukie January 4, 2016 / 21:42

      Hello DI,

      Thank you very, very much for your support and kind words. And I apologise for the year-late reply! Have a great year ahead!

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