Musings…

Hiya! Today’s post is not beauty related and I foresee a wordy post ahead so do please read on if you would like to take a peek into my life. 😉

Some say the grass is always greener on the other end. Whichever end of the world we may be, we would somehow harp on the fact that the grass is perhaps, greener on the other end. I have friends to bemoan the fact that they are stuck in Kuala Lumpur where the routine includes crawling bumper-to-bumper in what I would call a ‘parking lot’ along the Federal Highway during the daily mad rush to get in, and out of the city.

I, on the other hand live in Garden of England, an idyllic town where tiny roads and old aged people (OAP) come together. Life here is peaceful, slow, to the point of it being (sometimes) stagnant as opposed to the gruelling fast-paced lifestyle the city has to offer. Both lifestyles are monotonous in a way: in Kent, life is always slow, easygoing; in Kuala Lumpur, life pretty much revolves around traffic congestion if you live outside the city like I do. Possibly, I view this from a shallow view. But I digress.

Some chided my decision to return to England. Some even had doubts on whether I did actually live in England. Some even wondered why I do not speak with an accent when I was home in Malaysia considering I spent close to 5 years in Great Britain. Well hello, hello. I spent 18 years of my life in good ol’ Malaysia. Spending 5 years abroad does not, and will not change the way I speak.

Some envied me.

‘Wow you are earning in GBP. Surely you’d be rich.’

True, I earn the Pound. But I’m afraid you left out the important fact that I am also spending in Pound.

More on why I’m back in England. I love the weather. Grey skies, foggy mornings are a few of my favourite things. What sun? What humidity? Next up, the people. Warm, all smiles bar the occasional grouch, the fact that chivalry is very much alive in England pleases me so. Nothing makes my day more than when a complete stranger holds the door open for you and greets you with a warm smile. Here, people are more than happy to help.

In Malaysia? I once held a door open for Mum and a man immediately jumped in front of me as I was about to follow Mum into the bank.

*sighs*

Here, people are open to various degrees. They accept you for who you are, not what you are. No upturned noses when they view what you read at university. They try to get to know you, and your abilities better before deciding if you are the right person for them.

In Malaysia? I attended an interview where the interviewer said to me

‘How do you expect us to hire you with such a rubbish degree? Go to a school lah

Granted, this does not happen to everyone and what I’m writing here is based on my personal experience. I even had people come to me saying

‘I think it’s brave of you to read this subject but I wouldn’t do such a stupid thing. No future man.’

How ironic. Applauding my courage then bringing me down with such a scathing remark? Gee, thanks a bunch.

—————–

 

I suppose you must now be wondering: will I ever come home seeing I’m placing my home country in a negative light?

My answer is yes.

Because home, is where the heart is. As cheesy as this may sound, I love home. Even though it makes me sweat buckets. Even though it makes my skin peel. Even though it hurts me everytime someone makes a not-for-your-ears comment on what I did at university. Even though it seems like such a dangerous country to live in at the moment with all these violent cases going on.

Malaysia is still home.

I came back to England to get away from the chaotic city life. To get away from all that negativity. To heal. To find myself.

Sometimes, I blame me for putting myself in this situation. Had I read a more popular and ‘appealing’ degree like Law, Accounting or God forbid – Medicine, I would probably be able to fit into society better. Society will accept me, and I would simply blend in with everyone else.

But I chose the road less taken, and I’m happy I did even though I am currently going through a slightly difficult phase where I am not sure if I’m heading in the direction that will lead me to where I want to be.

It may seem cool that I have access to fabulous brands and pharmacies such as Boots, YSL, Elemis, Becca and the list goes on. But little do others know that I yearn for some authentic Char Koay Teow (fried rice noodles, Malaysian style), Mum’s delicious one pot meals or the boyfriend’s family’s Bak Zhang (glutinous rice dumplings). Although I have a very loving Uncle and Aunties here, little do people know that I crave for hugs from my immediate family. I still have my regular b***h fests with Mum over the phone but nothing beats a nice cuddle on the couch / bed whilst watching the idiot box do it’s thing on a quiet evening with the family. Nothing beats walking around Sunway Pyramid with the boyfriend, him wrapping his fingers around mine wondering where on earth we parked the car.

Still think the grass is greener on the other side? Think again.

 

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7 Comments

  1. Paris B / Pink Paris July 3, 2012 / 10:07

    I think it brave of you, Sukie to do what you did and to share what you have. When I was away, my only real desire was to come home despite all the negativity surrounding it, even then. I had friends whose parents told them never to return. I thought it was sad because they are "forced" to make their choice, for better or for worse. My parents never took a for or against position and just told me to do whatever I wanted that made me happy. So I came home, and earned pittance while others led the high life. Years down the road, I don't think we're very different anymore, socially and financially speaking.I never regretted coming home and living here. I love it and when I feel a little fed up and a little closed, I go away, take a look at a different city and country, contemplate life that might have been, but I always come home, because here's where it ultimately is. Its sad you had a poor experience at interviews (and seriously, you wouldn't really want to work where someone said stupid ignorant things like that!) but I hope you find your niche, whether overseas or here. My personal belief is that sometimes, our personal, emotional and mental health far outweighs financial health so if the grass isn't greener, it maybe time to go where it is, for you 🙂

    • S July 4, 2012 / 01:23

      Hello Paris, thank you very much for dropping by! =) We share the same sentiments then =p I have friends whose parents made them stay abroad too as they deem Malaysia too dangerous and unsafe, especially for us Malaysian Chinese. Thank you so much for your heartfelt advice, reading this made me feel a lot better and at least I'm not alone in this! <3 thank you so much!

  2. Arhani "Hanny&q July 3, 2012 / 13:27

    You know how much I yearn to be able to make the decisions you did on choosing what to read already so yeah. But now that I'm already in the course that I am in, I feel like I have the best of both worlds. The social science people are always the kind who will "stick it to the Man", while those in the business facaulty are grounded by capitalist realities. I am happy that I get to know how the world actually works and after a few more months of searching and reading, I can actually see a future for myself. I do realize that Malaysia will always be a home for me, but unlike you and PB, I feel utter shame sometimes to declare that I'm a Malaysian. Well, except when I'm being called as a mainland Chinese, but that's me being a b!tch. Oh well, perhaps life's great journeys will enlighten me further on that. As a kid, I've always dreamed of going overseas. Many of my friends are living that dream now, but because of my double degree, it's a little hard for me to just transfer out or get an exchange for a few semesters. So perhaps I will do it only for my masters? Hah hah hah. Thanks for the lovely post though! I hope that you get what you've been searching for ^.^

    • S July 4, 2012 / 04:53

      Hello my dear, thank you for the compliment. =) I'm glad to hear you are doing something you enjoy too! <3

  3. Stephanie / Yukaeshi July 3, 2012 / 13:41

    *Hugs*Even though I've never experienced what you are experiencing right now, I can really understand how you feel and where you're coming from *Wink* Like I've told you before though, things happen for a reason, and perhaps the time just isn't right yet 🙂 Remember me telling you that you shouldn't make any major decisions yet? Not for now at least, so I hope you'll listen to me there because there's a reason to it! 😡 Right now all we can hope and wish for is that there'll be less obstacles. I know it's not much consolation though, my words, but I'll always wish for and want the best for you and that things go as smoothly as possible for you. Promise! But please, do let me know if you need anything else :)I do envy you in a way. I've always wanted to go overseas for my further studies, see the world a little more, experience things. Not because my parents couldn't afford it but because I have a commitment to my parents and my family business as you know 🙂 But yes, I do understand that sometimes things are not what they seem, so again like I said things happen for a reason.*Bigger hug!* Either way, you have my fullest of support my dear! (I deleted the previous comment because of a sentence structure error, sorry!)

    • S July 4, 2012 / 04:55

      Hello darling, thank you for all your support! Yes envy me all you like (just goes to show how everyone thinks the grass is always greener on the other side) but I applaud your strong sense of responsibility for staying home to help out with the family business! =D I on the other hand do not think I'll be able to do that should my family be running a business (thank goodness they are not!) =p But thank you for being here for me all this while my dear, I really appreciate it! <3

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